Potter Grimm
by Alitote
Summary: A magic book of muggle Fairytales is stolen by none other than Fred and George, and reading it to the whole Gryfindor common room has some... unexpected results...
1. Chapter 1

**As the title may imply, it has to do with Grimm's fairy tales, but I might cheat and use other fairy tales if I think the characters currently at my disposal would fit really well to them. I try to avoid ooc-ness unless its really funny so don't expect to much ooc from the characters. And characters will have multiple fairytale roles thrust before them, otherwise Harry ends up with someone no one'd wish for him...**

**As with any story you'd find on this wonderous site, please R&R, feedback is both needed and wanted.**

* * *

It was a crystal clear night, the stars were out with the moon and both shined over everything. It was a relatively pleasent night outside the Hogwarts Castle.

Which was a striking contrast to the commotion coming from outside the Gryffindor portrait hole as a pair of firey haired twins burst through laughing hard and holding something in their shaking arms.

"What have you done now?" Ron couldn't help but ask his brothers exasperatedly.

"Nothing." Fred said a little to innocently.

"Liar." Grinned Harry who sat across the room from them. He set down his homework next to Hermione who was choosing to ignore them. She had far more important things to do than listen to how the Twins very nearly collided with death, metaphorically anyway, as she was sure Filch would never outright kill them. He'd make them wish for death sure, but he'd never actually kill right? Right?

"Allright, you caught us." George held his hands up in a sign of surrender, "We just stole something unbelivable."

"It's a fantastical fantasy-ical adventure worthy of our time we decided." Fred said, hoping over and onto the couch Ron was seated on, "And so we nabbed it."

"From where?" Ron asked, causing Hermione to huff at his obvious interest.

"The most horrendous homely hag's cave," Fred continued on his alliteration shtick, "A deadly, dasterdly, diabolical, dungeon of a place that very nearly finished us off in its fiendish clutches-"

"We grabbed it from the library after hours." George interrupted, wondering what his twin had run into to cause him to ramble.

"Ah, that's a very dangerous place." Ron said sarcastically.

"It is after hours." Harry defended the twins, who bowed in thanks in his direction.

"Especially in the restricted section." Fred said. He earned many glares from Hermione who of course didn't approve.

"It'll be in much better service in our hands." Fred piped up, "We're MAgnificent Mauraders, Fantastical Fiends, Evolutionary Eggheads! Also, now that it's coming to me, Righteous Renegades, Gratifiable Goons, Tyranical Typhoons, Jaunty- OW!" George had to lean over and smack his brother across the head in order to make him stop. Fred rubbed his head tenderly. The rest of the common room was giggling or outright laughing like Ron, who recieved a blow to the head from Fred to match. The laughter increased, this time Hermione allowing herself to join in.

"So what made this book worth the possibility or metaphorical death?" Harry asked since Ron was to busy tending to his aching head.

"It's a book of, get this, muggle fairytales!" George said excitedly.

The silence of the room was not the reaction he or his brother were expecting.

"So why's it in the restricted section?" Hermione asked, "I've come across a book of muggle fairytales in the regular part of the library."

"We don't know, that's why we knicked it." George said.

"To unlock it's satanic secrets, it's-"

"If you start that again i'm glueing the book to you and throwing you into Filch's office." George threatened. Fred promptly shutup.

"Well, read it." Ron said. The whole room gave him an odd look.

"I've never heard muggle fairytales before." Ron said sheepishly. His brother's shook their heads but opened the book. They never had either. In fact, most of the room hadn't and they crowded around to listen intently.

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarves." Fred read the title. Suddenely, there was an odd sort of crash outside the room, like thunderclapped outside every window and every door. Everyone jumped back, but soon regarded it as nothing, failing to notice the odd blue the moon and stars took on, like there was powerful magic in the air.

And just like that, the whole of Gryfindor spent the night reading the larger book of fairytales.


	2. Hermione Granger and the Seven Dwarfs

Hermione Granger had a hard time getting up the next day. She silently cursed herself for letting the twins keep her up so late as pulled her robes on that morning.

She met Ron and Harry at the base of the girls dormitory stairs and they began walking to breakfast. They walked silently together, all to tired to bother trying to make light conversation.

When they sat down Neville was showing the surrounding group all ready at the table something to do with his wand.

"It'll make anyone shorter or taller." He was saying, "I simply say _septem_ nano! And-" Suddenely green sparks shot out from his wand, hitting multiple people at the same time.

Harry, Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Neville, George, and Fred all gave a painful shout and felt their legs light on fire.

Harry looked down, and gave a cry of surprise to see his legs had, in fact, shrunk a few feet. He was now about 3 feet high! He looked around to see everyone of his friends save Ron and Hermione were too!

"What did you do Neville?" Seamus shouted as he got up and discovered the condition of his legs. Neville tumbled from his stool, apologizing a mile a minute. Fred and George stood next to eachother, trying to see if one was finally taller than the other.

"I think I am."

"No I am!"

Harry got up, helped emensly by Ron and Hermione, and tried to take control," Guys! Let's just get up to the hosptial wing! It's no big deal. Remember when Neville turned us into fish-people?" Everyone paused to remember, then nodded as they did. Some shot a few fresh glares Neville's way. He of course, shrunk under their hatred. But all agreed to go along with Harry and soon all seven of them had exited the room before a single professor walked in, leaving Hermoine and Ron to entertain eachother.

"Well, you must really feel like a giant now compared to what just happened to everyone." Hermione grinned awkwardly. Ron just nodded, staring out the door they'd left. More and more students were piling through it as he stared.

"Ron? What's the matter?" Hermione asked.

"It's just weird, how only seven people got hit and you and I were in range." Ron said, still staring.

"Yeah, be glad it was only seven and not the whole table." Hermione said, grabbing a platter and loading it with rolls, fruits, and breakfast cakes.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked curiously.

"Taking them some breakfast, Harry barely had time to sit down before _that_ happened." Hermione said before hurrying out of the room with the platter full to tipping over.

* * *

The Seven Dwarves, as Madam Pomfrey reffered to them when telling McGonagall where seven of her students were, were lying in beds bewitched for them so they could climb in and out of them easily. Neville had told her what the spell he'd used was, and normally Madam Pomfrey would have had them out as soon as she'd seen them in, but she revealed to a shocked seven that the spell Neville had used wasn't supposed to exist. Therefore she had to create a counter jinx to lift the spell from them, so they'd have to wait until their minds and bodies had adjusted to their new size before they could return to classes.

They were etternally grateful when Hermione showed up with the platter full of food for the seven of them and crowded around the table she transfigured to fit their size.

"Harry, where's your homework? I'll turn it in for you. You to Neville and Seamus, and Dean, and Ginny." She said, looking around.

"Over... there?" Harry guessed pointing at the pile of stuff near his bed. None of them were very tidy, and putting them in a room together obviously made the mess alot worse.

Hermione picked her way through Harry's possessions placing them on the bed in a neat order as she searched for all his homework assignments. She did the same as she searched the other four, and eventually caved and did the same for Fred and George.

"Thank you!" Ginny called as she hurried to transfiguration.

* * *

The next day Hermione showed up again, this time to see that, while their was less, everything was back on the floor. She stood in the middle of the room, alittle angry that her hard work yesterday had been for naught.

Harry buttoned his cloak and turned to see her standing there.

"Sorry Hermione, we're being let out despite our size and well, there was a rush." He smiled apologetically.

"Hermione come here." Pomfrey called suddenely. Hermione came. "I want you to watch them." She said.

"What?" Hermione wasn't sure she'd heard Madam Pomfrey right. Watch? As in babysit?

"I want you to watch them, make sure they don't put their size to any... nefarious purposes." She said with a small grin.

Hermione arched an eyebrow but said nothing, choosing to instead nod and walk back out to see the seven of them standing infront of the giant oak doors of the hospital wing, with Fred trying to reach the knob.

"Almost... got it!" he strained.

"Here." Hermione easily opened the door and the seven zipped out before her.

"Watch out for Fred and George especially!" Madam Pomfrey called after her.

* * *

Hermione, despite what she might have believed that morning, was actually enjoying herself that day. The Twins weren't to terrible to her, Neville was still to embarresed by what had happened to really do anything, and Ginny had always been on good terms from her so she was automatically granted a little slack there.

The one's she had to watch out for were Harry, Dean, and Seamus. The three had instantly formed together a small team and were working to bring about as much mischef as their little bodies granted them. They'd hide behind Hermione (a very easy feat), and jump out at passing girls. The girls would shriek, but then realize who it was scaring them and instantly become over powered with sympathy for them. This did not deter the group in the least. Hermione suspected it may have even encouraged them.

Ron was making himself scarce unfortunantly. Hermione would catch glimpses of him in the hallways but for some reason he kept running away. This hurt Hermione slightly, but she refused to show it. Instead she focused on the seven dwarves at her feet and made sure they didn't get themselves killed on suddenely very gigantic steps.

By lunch she'd rescued all seven of them a number of times and prevented Malfoy from throwing Harry and Neville out the window atleast twice. She was sure the hex she'd left on his face would not make for a third.

Hermione placed all seven on the bench, most of the boy's faces going red that they needed help getting up, Ginny enjoying the ride. Then Hermione placed herself next to Lavender Brown, who was busy telling Romilda about her own troubles.

"It's like he's running from me!" Lavender complained, "He said he would give me an answer by today and now he's just disapearing from every corridor I happen to enter with him in it!"

"He's just being an idiot. If he said yes he should atleast have the guts to tell you he changed his mind." Romilda comforted. Then a lightbulb whent off in her head and she produced a small vial from her robes.

"Here, just have a guy slip this into something he drinks. It'll atleast get him to stop and give you an answer, who knows, maybe a wake up call is what he needs." Lavender took the vial, a hopeful look igniting in her eyes. "What do I do?" She asked.

"Just put it in a goblet and ask someone to give it to him, tell them he asked you but you have to run to something important so could they please, please help you out." Romilda smiled. Lavender grinned, uncorking the small vial and tipping the contents into her own goblet wich was full of pumpkin juice. The drink fizzeled, then calmed, like nothing had ever happened to it.

She then set it down, as she and Lavender put there heads together to figure out who would be easy to manipulate into giving the goblet to her target. Neither was watching the goblet.

Hermione, unfortunantly, also wasn't watching wich was hers. And, while deep in conversation with Harry, wasn't watching as her hand nimbly skirted her own goblet and grasped the other one. She took a deep swig and suddenely felt lightheaded.

"Hermione?" Harry asked as she set the goblet down unsteadily and began to crumple. "Hermione!" She fell to the ground, as useless as a rag doll. All seven fell out of their chairs and rushed over to tend to her. But she was out cold, stuck in a deep sleep.

"Get her up onto the table or something!" Yelled Fred, "She'll get her throat stepped on if we keep her here!"

So, all seven, along with the help of a few other Gryfindors, got Hermione up onto the table, clearing a spot for her among the food and schoolbags.

Ron strode into the Great Hall, and promptly saw the spectacle happening at his table.

"What's all this then?"

"Hermione just collapsed." Harry said, "We don't know what happened."

Ron leaned over, and he could see her chest inflating and pummeling in deep sleep.

"Did someone call for Madam Pomfrey?" Someone called out amongst the confusion. As if on cue, Madam Pomfrey elbowed her way to the middle of the crowd, flanked by McGonnagl and Dumbeldore.

"What happened?" She asked. Harry quickly recounted the events, causing Madam Pomfrey to grow more and more somber with each passing second.

"She's under a sleep potion." She finally concluded. The room grew very silent. How would she be woken up?

Lavender turned and glared daggers at her friend.

"I didn't know!" Romilda whispered, "Fred said it was a _truth_ potion!" Lavender shook her head exasperatedly and looked away. Romilda hung her head in defeat.

Ron leaned over and looked at Hermione's face. She looked really peacful, almost dead. He looked over at Harry fearfully, then at Pomfrey.

"Well?" He demanded, "Isn't there anything you can do?" He didn't mean the words to sound as angry as they did.

Madam Pomfrey turned to the room, "Who gave it to her?" She demanded, "We have to know what type of sleeping potion it was!"

Lavender practically threw the bottle in Madam Pomfrey's direction, "The person who gave it to me said it was a... acne remover. Hermione must have grabbed the wrong goblet." Romilda silently thanked her when no one was looking, Lavender smiled and mouthed '_You owe me_' to her friend.

Madam Pomfrey insspected the bottle, looking for anything that would tell her the proper way to awaken Hermione.

"It's a... oh dear..." Madam Pomfrey said, suddenely looking like she might cry.

"What?" Ron, Harry, and McGonnagol said, all fearful of what the answer would be.

"You have to kiss them to wake them up!" Madam Pomfrey said, "But Hermione doesn't have a boyfriend! I don't think she was interested in anyone. And I don't know if we could ask anyone to do this for her."

Ron and Harry frowned, trying to process whether this was an insult to Hermione or Hermione and Boys in general.

"Excuse me, but we are surrounded by her friends. Half of which are boys." Ron said.

"Right, well then, Ronald, will you please do the honors?" McGonnagol asked. Ron went very pale and his eyes widened as the gravity of the situation finally hit him.

"What?" He asked stupidly.

"Will you awaken Miss Granger?" Madam Pomfrey rephrased.

"Uhh..."

"Will you please plant one on your future girlfriend and wife so we can all continue with our meals?" Professor Dumbeldore said very flatly. McGonnagol glared at him while Madame Pomfrey lightly slapped him on the arm, telling him in a hushed voice to not be so crude.

"Come on Ron, your the only one who can do it!" Harry incouraged, silently laughing as Ron's face turned a bright Pink.

"Oh, uh, ok-kay." Ron said, still alittle floored by what the headmaster was asking him to do. He looked down at Hermione, then leaned in a little closer. The whole school leaned with him.

Ron leaned over Hermione's face, brushing his lips against hers. His breathed slowed as he tried to figure out how to do this. First he opened his mouth wide like he might suck her whole face in, then he puckered his lips tightly like he'd just eaten something sour. Finally he relaxed his face and pressed his lips against hers. He stayed there... one second passed... two... three...

Hermione gasped as she woke up, "Ronald!" She shouted pushing him off, "What in the name of Merlin's Beard are you doing?"

"Uhhh..." Ron said stupidly.

"He's waking you up so you wont be late for your next class?" Harry tried, stepping in. Hermione gave them a suspicious look, then noticed the whole school staring at them. Hermione's face went a bright pink and she dashed from the hall, Ron fast at her heels.

"Hermione wait!"

Harry was about to follow, when suddenelly there was a bright flash of light and suddenelly he, Fred, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Ginny, and George were suddenelly there regular size. They turned to see the headmaster stuffing his wand into his robes.

"A little trick I picked up." He smiled before turning and sweeping from the Great Hall with McGonagol and Pomfrey behind him.

Harry nodded a thanks to no one and then turned and bolted out of the hall, hoping to find his friends quickly.

* * *

Ron finally caught up to her when Hermione paused to tie her shoe. She was hiding behind one of the many statues, hoping she'd be safe there.

"You were under a sleep spell." Ron said, helping her up. Hermione was still blushing, unable to talk. Ron took a step closer, "Madam Pomfrey said it was the only way to wake you up."

"So you just volunteered?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, no." Ron said, not looking her in the eye, "I was just the first one McGonagall saw. I was also the one keeping your hair out of the butter." He smiled sheepishly.

"Oh," Hermione said, withdrawing attempts at eye contact herself. She hoped she didn't look to crestfallen. She quickly menatlly shook herself and smiled, holding a hand out to her best friend.

"Thanks then." Ron stared at the hand like it was a new object he'd never seen before, then grabbed tight hold of it and pulled Hermione into a large hug. He kissed her on the cheek, a very long kiss that made Hermione's breath quicken, then released.

"Your welcome." He laughed, his face going red again as he ran down the hall. Hermione smiled and felt her knees give out under her. She slid down the wall and sat there for a few moments, touching the place his lips had been moment's before.

Harry hid himself behind a corner, afraid that if he got either one of their attention he'd destroy something fragile, something newborn. Something just between the two of them. So instead he hid behind the corner, looking for the first sign to get away.

"And, scene." Someone chuckled behind him.

Harry turned to see Fred and George behind him, jotting something down.

"What's that?" He asked.

"Nothing," they shrugged, "That was an interesting story though."

"You two saw that?" Harry asked.

"Oh yeah." Fred grinned.

"You know, that's probably the only time they'll let their affection show for eachother." George ssaid, turning to his twin.

"Yes, making this the end of the story." Fred agreed.

"So what do we say?" They said together, turning towards Harry.

"Uhh... Happily Ever After?"

"No silly." Fred grinned. George put him in a loose headlock and dragged the Boy Who Lived towards the common room, saying,

"We say, the End."

* * *

**Okay, not really a romance writer obviously, but I gave it my best. Anyway, what did you think? Don't hate to bad please.**


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